


exile

by orphan_account, roonilwazlib69



Series: folklore by taylor swift  (Wolfstar) [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hurt Remus Lupin, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pre-Slash, Sad Sirius Black, Song: exile (Taylor Swift), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/roonilwazlib69/pseuds/roonilwazlib69
Summary: Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me,Second, third, and hundredth chances,Balancin' on breaking branches,Those eyes add insult to injury.In which Sirius does the unforgivable and Remus isn’t sure he can ever forgive him.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: folklore by taylor swift  (Wolfstar) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892968
Kudos: 27





	exile

**Author's Note:**

> This part takes place the day after ‘cardigan’ so please read that one first! Enjoy <3

**February 1976**

Remus Lupin prided himself on his ability to stay calm in stressful or otherwise problematic situations, but right now he was about to throttle James Potter. The bespectacled boy was sitting on a chair next to Remus’ bed in the hospital wing, his messy hair looking even more tousled than usual. 

“Merlin’s beard, James,” he snapped, exasperated and irritable thanks to the previous night’s full moon. “Spit it out, will you?”

James look down at his hands before speaking, “Padfootsentsnapeintotheshriekingshackduringyourtransformation.” Remus blinked. He had misheard, he had to have misheard because surely, no matter how angry he was, no matter how much Snape antagonised him, he would never stoop so low. He would never betray Remus like that. The other boy looked up and, upon seeing his friend’s bewilderment, sighed deeply, “Padfoot sent Snape into the Shrieking Shack during your transformation.” 

_No, no, no_ , Remus thought, burying his head in his hands, _this cannot be happening, this is a dream, a very, very bad dream_. His head snapped up as he realised he hadn’t yet asked the most important question of all, “Did I hurt him?” James shook his head and told him that no, Remus hadn’t hurt Snape physically, but he was terrified beyond comprehension when he came out of the Whomping Willow tunnel. 

“And you?” James frowned, confused, “What did you do? You just sat back and did fuck all to stop him? Christ, Prongs, I could’ve fucking killed him!” He was sitting up now, his eyes alight with anger, but James had stood up too, looking hurt.

“That’s not fair, Moony, and you know it. Sirius doesn’t listen to me unless I’m agreeing with him! Once he decides to do something, I don’t think God himself could stop him. Don’t project your anger on to me, I tried to tell him it wasn’t worth what it would do to you.”

Remus exhaled slowly and nodded; he was wrong to take it out on James but Sirius wasn’t around to scream at just yet. “Where is he?” he asked, hoping his voice sounded calmer than he felt.

“In the dorm with Pete.” Remus wasted no time. He flung the blanket off and pulled on a pair of shoes, not noticing or caring that it was a weekend and his arm was still badly wounded. Let people see him bleed, let them draw their own conclusions, he didn’t care anymore - Snape would probably grass him in as soon as he got the chance anyway, then his days at Hogwarts would be numbered. As he marched to Gryffindor tower, his thoughts grew more and more violent. There was no excuse for this, nothing Severus could have said that would justify this. Remus decided right then and there that he would never forgive Sirius Black. 

He opened the door to the dorm with a forceful slam that made Peter jump and Sirius bolted to his side, talking about how unbelievably sorry he was, and how it would never, ever happen again and how he ‘didn’t know what he was thinking!’ Remus couldn’t even bear to look at him, he knew that if he did he would probably punch him in the face, or yank his hair out, or something along those lines. 

“Peter, get out,” Remus spat, still looking straight ahead.

“But—“

“Get out before I turn you into Wormtail and feed you to McGonagall.” Years later, he and Sirius would laugh at this, sides aching at the thought of old Minnie feasting on their dear friend Pettigrew, but right now…right now, Remus was shaking with such pure rage that Peter didn’t doubt his sincerity for one second, and shot through the doorway. Now he looked at Sirius. The paler boy’s eyes were red and bloodshot, although Remus couldn’t tell whether it was because he had been crying or because he hadn’t slept - it had been both. 

“Moony, please,” he pleaded with him, practically begging. “You didn’t hear what he was saying about you, Moony! It was disgusting, he needed to be taught a lesson.”

“Don’t fucking call me Moony,” Remus said, his voice barely a whisper but no less intense than if he had screamed at the top of his lungs. Sirius shrank back, his eyes clouding over with defeat. _Good_ , the nasty voice in the back of his head said, _let him feel like shit_. _No matter how bad he feels, it’ll never make up for what he did to me._

“How could you do this to me?” he willed himself not to cry. “Of all the ways you could’ve hurt Snape, you picked the one that hurts me a million times more! I COULD GET KICKED OUT. YOU COULD’VE MADE ME A MURDERER, SIRIUS.” 

He knew how he must’ve looked, waving his arms wildly and shaking, but he didn’t care. When he looked at Sirius, his animal instincts screamed ‘ENEMY’ and it was all he could do to not lunge at his stupid, perfect face. 

“I will never forgive you for this,” he said, scarily calm as his eyes filled with tears. “If you so much as look at me until I tell you that you’re allowed, I’ll kill you.” And he meant it. Sirius stepped forward to touch his arm, the arm that still bore the painting of his namesake’s constellation, but he yanked it away, walking into the en-suite and leaving the door open so that the sink was clearly within view. Then, eyes still locked on his fellow Marauder’s, he let the water run from the taps, not even flinching when the heat hit his skin. He gripped the bar of soap in one hand and held out the other, scrubbing furiously at the black paint around his scar furiously until it was red raw and Sirius wore an expression of complete horror. He didn’t want him anywhere near his scars, not him and certainly not his fucking star. 

He would never forgive Sirius Black.

* * *

** April 1976 **

It had been two months and Remus hadn’t even looked at Siri... well, him. He got up in the mornings before the others and went to bed only when they were all asleep; he sat with Lily and her friends at breakfast, lunch and dinner and even spent his free time in the library just so he could avoid the others. Not that it was very effective; James and Peter cornered him at least once a day to ask if he was okay. Remus felt oddly elated that James had thought to check on him even though he had drifted away from their once close-knit group. 

Remus still mattered to him.

James knew how much what Sirius had done had affected Remus in every conceivable way but Remus knew that James would always pick Sirius over him. He didn’t blame him for this, nor did he want it any other way. It was nothing personal and Remus knew that. It was never anything personal with James, the bloke was a giant teddy bear. 

“What page was it again, Remus?”

“Eighty-seven.”

Lily gave him a smile as he scribbled his essay down, stating at her new close friend and suppressing a sigh. As much as he insisted he was done with Sirius, she knew he missed him. She saw it in the way he’d read something ridiculous in his book and go to say something to Sirius, the side looks at the now-trio at dinner. She loved spending this time with him, of course she did. But she also knew he missed him more than anything.

Lily put her pen down (quills be damned) and stared intently at the scarred boy opposite her. Her eyes began to narrow before she saw Remus look up and stare back. She bit her lip. 

“Don’t you think you’ve tortured Sirius enough, Remus? I mean, it’s been two months now.” she sighed and help her hands up when he glared at her. “Okay, sorry, we won’t talk about it.”

Silently, he looked back down at his essay and Lily stared for a few more moments at her friend before waving all of her textbooks into her bag and standing up. 

Time to find Potter. He’d know what to do. 

“Where are you going?” Remus asked suspiciously.

Lily shrugged, shouldering her bag. “Gotta meet Slughorn about this dinner he’s hosting.”

After a moment, he nodded and turned back to his essay again as Lily left the library. But not before she saw him staring at his Astronomy textbook. 


End file.
